Thick as a brick

None of the doors in my house close. Well, the closets do. But the actual doors into rooms – no.

It’s not surprising; the house is old. The house has had foundation repairs. It is a little more crooked than most Heights houses (which are always a little crooked, unless they’re new, in which case they will be crooked soon as the shitty modern constructions settles in). I would like it if the doors latched, but I’m not going to deal with that until I am sure there are no additional foundation repairs in the offing.

This is normally fine because it doesn’t really bother me if I’m peeing and suddenly the door comes in and Teddy strolls in. “Hey, whatcha doin’?”

However, on Saturday I had people over for a little housewarming open house, and I realized on Saturday afternoon that guests might not enjoy Teddy visits during personal moments quite as much.

What to do? Why, a doorstop seemed like the ideal answer. I looked around the house for a suitable heavy object. Then I had a great idea; there’s been a pile of red bricks sitting outside next to the air conditioning unit since I moved in. Solid, compact, easy to slide over in front of the door, and kind of rustic – the perfect doorstop!

So I went outside and got one and set it in the corner by the door in the bathroom.

Not two minutes later, as MWK and I stood in the kitchen getting things ready for guests, he suddenly said, “Oh my god!”

I looked down and there was Teddy, happily trotting across the kitchen… with a brick in his mouth.

I wish I’d had my camera. He was carrying it like it was a styrofoam movie prop, a little bounce in his step, heading for the open back door with his newfound treasure. That dog is strong.

I took the brick away – imagining the joy that would follow if he broke a tooth on it – but in his mind, the brick pile was transformed. Before it must have looked like an immovable object. Now it is a source of excitement and fun, and he quickly ran over and knocked a few bricks off the top.

Sigh. No, Teddy, no. I will be moving the bricks to just outside the fence shortly. Meanwhile, he has mostly lost interest in them – they are good mainly for licking at this point.

Poor Teddy. He has no idea why something so fun is off limits.

I have no relevant photos so instead here’s Teddy saying good morning to me: