So, the new Texas license plate is extremely ugly and garish. One of my coworkers put it this way: “It reminds me of one of those custom paint jobs on the side of a panel van – you know, with unicorns and big-titted women and sorcerers and stuff.” So I thought it was interesting that the other day I saw several cars with this alternate plate design near my office:
I wouldn’t call it a great work of art, but the simplicity is kind of refreshing. I wondered if it was some related to some group or cause, so I looked on the fabulous internet to find out… and no, it’s not. It’s being marketed as a “deluxe” design, which I guess just means, “If you pay us, you won’t have to look at that piece of shit design we picked on your car all the time.”
The black and white doesn’t really work on all vehicles, but never fear – it’s available in different colors! Including this one, which I really hope to see on a vehicle someday soon – I’m guessing either an Escalade driven by a Reese Witherspoon lookalike, or a Mini Cooper driven by an extremely fit guy with a goatee:
Visualize Big Pink Texas!
There are lots of others to choose from, of course. This one, I assume is for people who love to text and LOL a lot.
Do U wnt that 1 on yr wheelz?
This one, on the other hand, just looks like one of the old Texas plates.
The important thing is that every one of these plates is less ugly than the standard-issue variety. I guess one way to market added-cost specialty plates is to make the default as hideous as possible, and in that regard, I’d say that Texas is succeeding admirably.
Finally, though, my favorite of them all, in an “oh my god I can’t take my eyes off that car crash” kind of way, is one that’s for select members of the most clueless profession:
It lacks the bombastic stupidity of the “I AM TEXAS REALTOR®” version, but really – the balloon! An ad! The idea accessory for someone who’s turned their entire life, including every casual social interaction, into a sales opportunity. At least it is a warning to other motorists; when someone driving a car with this plate rolls down the window to ask directions, leave your window up and stare straight ahead. Because the directions will involve trying to hand you a business card and ask about your house buying plans.
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I do like the “deluxe” plate, but the black one is kind of Bladerunner / Minority Report; I can just picture a bar code there in place of numbers.
I don’t think the new standard one is that bad – some of the states’ plates are horrible, and I speak from experience having just driven cross-country. That includes you, Nebraska; you can’t fool anyone by putting the frackin’ sand hills on the license plate; you’re still flat flat flat. And the new New York plate screams bureaucratic design by committee. http://www.nydmv.state.ny.us/cplates.htm
(And tsk-tsk, John, that I had to go off-page and Google to see the standard TX plate, you didn’t include *that* image
The regular one is far too ugly to appear on my blog.
Massachusetts is right up there with ugly license plates and BORING to boot.
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